Bear with us for a second. Imagine that aliens were real, and that these aliens reproduced asexually, and that any intimacy that exists between them was produced through mental communication. Then imagine they came down in their shiny spaceships to investigate Earth and found us — ostensibly intelligent, squishy humanoid thingies. Then picture them discovering that we reproduced and expressed ourselves romantically by shmooshing our naked forms against each other, until one part of our bodies slipped into the other, then we shook around for a bit until some stuff came out that made a baby.

Imagine them crowded around a screen, seeing the seriousness with which we took it all and watching our faces as we spasmed, then having to work out what the hell was going on. Once you look at human sex from an outside perspective, it’s a lot easier to relax and just have fun with the gloriously silly and messy prospect of sex…