It’s a truth universally acknowledged that the sexiest thing a person can own is confidence. But as a species, we’re extraordinarily harsh on ourselves, and body confidence can feel like an impossible achievement.

In our experience, a confident lover is a sexy lover, no matter their shape or size. So here are our top 5 tips to boost your self-esteem in the bedroom, leading to incredibly steamy sex...

Stop making comparisons

Everyone has their own body issues. Just because someone looks ‘perfect’ in Instagram, it doesn’t mean they’re 100% comfortable in their own skin. You wouldn’t compare a daffodil to a tulip - they’re both flowers, but both have their own unique beauty. So stop your comparisons: there’s only one of you.

Reward your body

Your body is incredible. Every day it takes you where you want to go, it feels, smells, tastes, hears and sees - it means you get to experience life. Reward your body and treat it right, whether that’s with an indulgent massage, a good exfoliating treatment, or simply having a long, hot bath or shower. Taking time out to appreciate and treat your physical self has great effects on your emotional health, too - which all adds up to feeling better in the skin you’re in. 

Focus on the pleasure

When it comes to confidence in the bedroom, it’s all about getting out of your head and moving into your body. Don’t think: feel. Try shifting your thoughts onto each individual spot on your body being stimulated, focussing onlyon what feels good. The more you can leave your head and shift into your body, the more you’ll be able to let go and enjoy Earth-shattering orgasms. 

When it comes to clothes, it’s the fit that matters

Sizing means nothing. I repeat: Sizing. Means. Nothing. 

What does matter, however is the fit of your clothes - and it’s not about how you look, it’s how you feel. Take a look at your wardrobe. Don’t feel good in it? Chuck it out or donate it. Whether you’re selecting sexy lingerie or a formal suit, make sure you take the time to get properly measured and/or try on lots of different sizes until you find an item which gives you a skip in your step. You’ll walk taller and ooze sex appeal. Ignore the numbers - if your clothes feel good, you’ll feel good. 

Swap self-criticism for self-praise

How many times a day do you catch yourself (or a friend) saying something negative about your own body? When you notice negative comments, don’t ignore them - spin them around. 

Replace a critical thought about your thighs with ‘my legs are strong and powerful’. Swap a mean comment about your bum/waist/tummy with ‘my curves make me incredibly sexy’. 

Actively replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is actually provento make a lasting difference over time, meaning the more you notice your inner critic, the better you’ll get at changing your own mindset and building up your own confidence. 

Ultimately, we only get to enjoy this life in our amazing bodies once. So let’s be kind to them, eh? You’re sexy as hell.

Love,

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