What is impact play?

Have you watched Roleplay, the third episode of Confessions of a Soundgirl yet? Starring Zara du Rose and David Hughes as two performers who have been typically cast as 'dominant man' and 'submissive woman'. However, filming isn't going too well as that doesn't actually turn either of them on at all. They decide to try some role reversal with red hot results. Zara uses a riding crop from a selection of other toys to really tease her partner...

Whether you have tried impact play or not, I am sure that you're aware that for some people being struck in one way or another is a big turn on. Research* suggests that at least 50% of us get turned on by sexual practice outside the norm, but of course for many people admitting their kinks is still a very taboo subject. If this is you then please rest assured that you fantasy of dressing up as a schoolgirl while being spanked by your teacher is definitely not outside of the norm! Many people are turned on by power play, role play and impact play, to name just a few kinks... A quick google will show you how many mainstream publications address kinks and fetishes, remember that as long as you keep things consensual and use safe practices that being turned on my something that you may consider 'strange' is nothing to be ashamed of.

So just what is impact play? Impact play is defined as a sexual practice in which one person is struck by another person for the gratification of either or both parties. It comes under the umbrella of BDSM and is a common kink, many people will use the most common way of spanking, but there are many toys and other acts that can be brought in.

So if the thought of spanking gets you feeling some kinds of hot, then you may be wondering where to start. The first step is to communicate with your partner, preferably well in advance. Pulling out a riding crop mid session is not the way to broach this subject (unless they have requested this of course...)

Yes, I know talking about sex can be awkward and hard, but communication is one of the most effective ways to have a better time sexually. If both people can safely communicate their needs without judgement, you are both going to be able to grow and evolve your pleasure together. You can play the Yes, No Maybe game (see blog post here) to give you an idea of whether your partner is interested in impact play, or you can even bring up the subject by referring to a scene in a film or something you have read about that got you interested in exploring. 

Once you have had your hopefully not awkward conversation, then it's time to talk about specifics and settle on a safe word. A safe word is a word agreed upon my everyone involved that means to immediately stop the play (play is the term used to refer to any erotic activity). The word should not be 'yes' or 'no' given that in a session that some consensual role play may involve using these words as part of the play. Make your safe word easy to remember but something that you would be unlikely to say. You also need to consider where you or your partner would like to be hit, you don't have to plan things out like directing a film, but it will help to have a starting point and also to talk about any areas that are off limits and you also need to know which areas are safe to hit. I general you want to hit areas that are fatty or fleshy. There are many blogs and online resources where you can find kink experts going into great detail such as this great article at Kinkly.

So what's next? The words BDSM and spanking may bring up images of black leather and whips, but impact play can be as simple as using your hand, and experts say it's best to start simple before investing in a drawer full of whips and riding crops. So as a starting place, try spanking on the bottom. Start slowly and relatively gently and work up to harder spanks, remembering to communicate. You can move around your spanking spot or repeat in the same place for more intensity. 

Once you are comfortable with this you may want to start using a toy of some sort, such as a spanking paddle, a riding crop or even things that you may already have like a kitchen spatula or hairbrush. A sleek black paddle or crop certainly seems to me like a hotter option, but using household items can be good in the start to see how into impact play you are and whether you will want to invest in some more toys for your seduction drawer...

Have you ever tried spanking? Was it hot or did it fall flat? I would love to hear in the comments...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x

* The Journal of Sex Research