Confidence. It's something that we love on other people. At a party you can usually find a confident person holding court, telling stories and making people laugh. At some point in our lives I think we have all wanted to be that person. Self assured, comfortable in themselves, not afraid to be seen. These qualities are certainly things that I aspire to be, not only in my day to day life but also in the bedroom. How would it make you feel if a partner viewed you like that?

Confident. Self assured. Comfortable in themselves. Not afraid to be seen.

It would make me feel amazing.

Of course these are also characteristics of an outwardly happy person as well. And if you haven't heard, happiness and confidence is an inside job. We all have access to these feelings and the best bit is we don't actually need outside confirmation to feel amazing, we can do it all for ourselves. 

Sex is an important part of our lives and can bring huge amounts of not only confidence, but also satisfaction. Whether you are single or in a relationship there are a few tricks that I would like to share to help you feel more confident in the bedroom and beyond...

1. Get a look that makes you feel confident. Wear what makes you feel good. This doesn't have to be about being sexy, it's most important to be comfortable in your own skin. An oversized T-shirt with nothing underneath? Lacy lingerie with suspenders and stockings? It's up to you. I will say that you may surprise yourself at how hot you can look in sexy lingerie or tight boxers that make your butt look pert, so don't be afraid to push yourself a bit. 

2. Pose it up and give yourself some love. Get in front of a mirror and check yourself out. Find at least 3 things that you can compliment about yourself and say them out loud. Repeat them and really mean it when you give those compliments. The way we talk to ourselves is so important. We all tend to go around looking at other people, seeing all of their best bits and then looking only at (and furiously criticising) our worst bits. I want you to speak to yourself like you would speak to your favourite person. Big yourself up. Confidence doesn't have to equal arrogance, don't be afraid to really tell yourself how great you are. You can try affirmations, for example if you want to feel sexier look yourself in the eye and say 'I am sexy! I am a passionate and sexy human!'. It may sound silly now, but I promise you that affirmations are a powerful tool you can use for confidence and lots of other areas in your life. Try telling yourself each morning that you approve of yourself and that you deserve the best in life and see how you feel after a few days... I would love to hear in the comments how you get on.

3. Lighting, lighting, lighting. On your own or with a partner, dim the lights and you'll soon see how beautifully flattering soft light is. You can play with different coloured lamps, install a dimmer or get raunchy with candles. 

4. Get to know your body and what turns you on. Knowing how to pleasure yourself, understanding that sexuality is part of who you are and taking ownership of that is one of the most empowering and confidence boosting things that I personally have ever experienced. Make time for dates with yourself - make masturbation a special occasion. Invest in some awesome porn subscriptions and at least one sex toy. Learn your body and what touch brings you the most pleasure. Single or in a relationship this will do wonders for your bedroom confidence.

5. Channel your inner sex symbol. Sometimes you do have to fake it a little to make it, and imagining yourself as an seductive sexy character can be a great tool for bedroom confidence. Once you get into the groove of it you will see that you can be just as sexy and confident as the people you admire.

I hope this has given you some inspiration and a few confidence boosting ideas to try. If you have any questions I'm always happy to respond, just leave me a comment.

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x