On Monday, I was having a phone catch-up with my friend, Catherine. "But why are you getting involved, Liselle?!" she asked. In fact, my slightly concerned mother had asked me the same thing about a month ago. It's a question I want to answer.
When I first got into this industry, several journalists asked, "Would you ever have a go in front of the camera?" My response was always, "That's not really for me but then again, never say never."
The truth is, I didn't ever imagine I would want to, or feel able to be watched in a sexual situation. I have never even filmed myself with a partner in private. But the last twelve months have been the most significant in my life for several reasons. Firstly, I found my calling and finally experienced having a job I am passionate about. That made me feel good about just being Liselle, more than ever before. Then I naturally spent a lot of time with people who are very comfortable with their sexuality and with sex, full-stop. You could say, they made me realise exactly how many cleverly disguised inhibitions and insecurities I had. And finally, I realised that creating a genuinely horny atmosphere on set, actually had rather a lot to do with me, the director.
Now, I'm not saying that all porn directors need to dive into the dirty, in order to get their performers going. In fact, I'm certain that in most cases, it would have the opposite effect :) But my directorial aim is to capture sex between people who want to be having it and who - and this is the pivotal point - want to be having it in front of me and my camera. Essentially my role should enhance the experience in some way, not hinder it. The concept of 'Match-Mates' revolves around my personal connection and friendship with many of the performers. It's this cosy comfort zone that harboured sexual tension and ultimately, lead to them wanting me involved. And so I thought, "You know what? The fact that you want me to be involved turns me on, and if me being turned on, turns you on, then this will be great for all of us and hopefully for the viewer as well."
"But where can you go with it now, Liselle? Are you going to have to take it further next time?!" Catherine persisted.
My involvement became an important element of this project but it is not essential, or even appropriate for every film I make. Each 'Match-Mates' scene was unique and as the scenes progressed, so did my involvement (scene 5 being the climax). But this has always been about more than me getting pervy with my performers. Several of my 'moments' will probably not even make the final cut, as they enhanced the overall experience at the time but are not necessary for the finished film.
Ultimately, I'm a director. But as my mum and my friends know, I've always been a performer too. And maybe I just love my job a little bit too much. |