When Liselle Met Veronica Hart

A Love Story

One Friday in August, Liselle was off to a meeting to see Jane, the nice American lady she'd had been chatting to on the phone. Liselle had also been introduced to her briefly in a London night club about 2 months ago. Thankfully, before she had got too drunk to have a professional conversation.

Liselle met Jane at the studio at 10am. Jane made Liselle a cup of tea. Jane and Liselle sat and chatted about various professional porn topics and personal stuff until Liselle casually asked Jane a question she had wanted to ask for a while.

"So have you ever been IN porn films?"

Jane replied, "Oh yes, I was."

Liselle leaned in, intrigued. An ominous nervous feeling approached, as if preparing Liselle for the shock that was to come:

"But my name was Veronica Hart."

As the last two words registered with a bloody big bang, Liselle's muddled brain fell into her gut. Her gut did not appreciate the intrusion and proceeded to spit Liselle's brain back up into her skull, just in time for Liselle to use her brain to utter,

"Oh my God. Of course I know who you are. I had no idea..."

Liselle had never before felt so much excitement and embarrassment at the same time. How could she not have known? Veronica Hart was only her favourite retro porn star and serious crush (to the extent of even having her face as a screensaver).

At that moment, Jane/Veronica was called away and Liselle was left, suffering sickness and minor paralysis. For about five long minutes. Having never really been star-struck (working at a record company at the age of 17 left her somewhat unphased by 'talent') this was an unfamiliar and overwhelming moment in (her) time.

Jane/Veronica suddenly returned, as Liselle gathered a little bundle of strength and stuttered some more silly words.

"I can't believe this - I feel like such an idiot... of course I know who you are! I'm a proper fan! This is crazy! Blah blah blah... That scene... During Office Hours - Aunt Peg - you and Herschel Savage - he was your boss!"

Luckily, this accurate memory and teenage enthusiasm seemed enough to convince Jane/Veronica that Liselle was indeed a proper fan and not just a horrid, gushing, sucking leech. And luckily, they had a lot of proper stuff to talk about, which prevented Liselle from descending into verbal gibber and hero-worship.

And so, the story goes, Liselle and Jane/Veronica continued to hit it off, Liselle's body and speech functioning solely on adrenalin and Veronica Hart love. An hour's meeting turned into three and Liselle went home a giggling, silly, happy bear.

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